It Was Still...

No lights or interruptions.
No television sets or radios.
No power lines buzzing hiss hiss hissing electronically distracting and blur blur blurring the lines between fiction and drastically non...
No. None of that.
It was still.  I heard nothing.
It was dark. I saw nothing.
It
was
as if
everything
all at
once was frozen
except for...
this house, this home, this family of scallywags and scoundrels and scums of the earth...
and
Friends. In the truest sense of the word.
It was still.  And I saw You.

<3

Missing You

It's been a week and two days now since I last embraced my children.  I haven't been able to see them, hold them, call them, anything.  The tears and constant heartache are too much to bear.  Life without them is empty.

I miss You.

Veggie Sammich.

my only love.

It's the subtle feeling of bleeding to death that makes you forget what "love" feels like.

Like if Bob Ross forgot to paint the tops on the "Happy Little Trees" and instead painted a landscape full of trunks with no foliage.

At First I thought I'd Make a Deep Meaningful Post...

but then my brain started making "Jeff Goldblum noises"

for reference :

I'm supposed to be getting up but instead...

I have this comfy bed :

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep...

It's almost 4 am again.

This seems to be a pattern.

Today has been another day of emotional ups and downs.  I'm learning to deal (slowly, but surely) with this rollercoaster.  I think what I'm learning most of all is that all emotion is deceiving to some degree.  We feel therefore we are what we feel.  Lately I've been feeling hurt, abandoned, confused, angry, etc...and I've manifested those feelings into a physical identity.

"I feel this way, therefore I am this way."

This is a lie.  We are not our emotions.  Of course all people are entitled to emotion, we should feel and I don't know that I would love to live a life devoid of emotion however I'm coming to realize more and more every day that my emotions are just that, emotion, temporal.  Who I am is far more than that.

Who you are is much more than that.

I don't have much more to say.  I'm tired and I have a big day tomorrow. 

Thanks for reading.

Christopher.